Have you ever?

have you ever had one of those days where your day could have ended up better if it involved oh say winning the lottery or something to do with tassles? Lets just fantasize for a minute about winning the lottery. I am sure all you would still be my friends... right? Oh look is that tomato soup splatter from Saturday on my desk? Wow thats interesting.

I quickly ended that fantasy because I was getting sad that I am broke college student. Also I have to re arrange the tables in the library because my boss is bored with the current configuration. I can't because some guy decided to plop down right in the table I was going to move. Kim said I should start table top dancing and now we have moved on to pole dancing classes. I am pretty sure I would make an interesting pole dancer. Kind of like a chubby tarzan, look out for that... oh is that a donut? Whilst I crash into the floor because I can't hang upsidedown and think of food. In theory. Or like an airplane sailing out of the sky to crash land.. oh I think you get the picture.

Maybe I shouldn't leave the tables all helter skelter like that. Nobody is using them. Not that they can, all the chairs have been pulled out and moved all over the library. Re-arranging crap is fun! Not as fun as not doing what I am supposed to do but almost equally so.

Today is harass the partons day about how they are going someplace else to get FREE printing. Then they come back and print and give you money, weird. Didn't we just cover this? Didn't you just say you were leaving to go print for free? I don't give a damn either way but still I may laugh at you. In fact I just did. HAHAHA.. oh crud now I have to count that .40 cents he gave me. Can we not do this game anymore? I would rather not play this game anymore because when you give me money that means I get to count it. And I have 70 pennies today. I took her money, her money is good here, but it was all in pennies.... lots of pennies... have I said LOTS AND LOTS of pennies yet? I think you get the picture. Not to mention they were lukewarm when she gave them to me. POCKET BUTT WARM PENNIES EWWWW....

Oh look at my pretty helterskelter tables and how nobody can use them.. Maybe I can use this as a patron detterant device. I was going to eat one of them and then let word get out but this may be simpler. As I don't know any recipies that have a good human section. In fact I think I may just throw up the soup I just ate... In fact I might throw up more than just my soup... yuck... I just made myself sick.. I didn't think that one was possible. Well time to go... do less work! YAY

insert clever title for blog here

I couldn't think of a good title for this blog, as I have no idea what in the word I am even going to talk about in it. As nothing really serious has happened in the past week or so. I was going to write a blog called "things I hate Thursday" Now that was all fine and good whilst I was in class and grumpy but once I got out and stuff I felt too happy to write a blog about things I hate. Seeming as there is not much for me to hate it would have been a small blog anyways.
Have you ever wondered how they get the cream filling in a twinkie? What are twinkies called when the filling is not in them. I would name them yellow-sponge-cake-of-death-without-filling. Thoughts? Feelings? Concerns? Things I don't care about? GOOD!

When i get old I am going to form an entire retirement home to those of us "crazy cat people". I can see it now. Cats coming out of every corner, lots of food bits scattered around. Ernies dead corpse being slowly eaten by his pet cats "Barfo" and "Steve". Cats are vicious if you don't give them enough attention. I would know.

I really don't think there is anything else going on. I lead such an exciting life. Almost too exciting. I mean hello I puzzle till 10 and then go to bed how much more exciting can you get?!!?!?! I ask you. But anyways.

There are people here in library land. Not the usual Saturday crowd. Where is Kelly? He always comes in and makes sure that we have pleanty of... erm... paranoid news tabloids that people shouldn't read but do. Last week it was don't get the flu shot because they are going to implant a microchip into you which allows them to track you. Is that why I always get a little sick after getting my flu shot? The government can see my eyes "HI MOM". I don't think they would find my life real exciting either.

Today I have a nice teacher lady and her husband. She teaches spanish? or english to children who don't know one or the other I'm not really sure. And her husband does stuff here. What I don't know but hey I am not nosey.... HA.... Other than that it's dead here. Like Cher. Minus the nose job and the reincarnations that keep happening.

Seriously people they are paying me to write this thing. Oh look another .00000001 of a cent in my bank account. I don't get paid well but I get paid. Like a hooker, not paid well but gets paid, not including the visit to the hospital for routine blood work. Oh wait, hookers don't do that stuff either, the phrase "hook line and sinker" just came to mind. Sounds like something I would throw into the Snake River and hope it sunk? I don't actually know what that phrase means.

I think I need a chinese muppet

Today must be patrons that annoy the staff day. WE LOVE PEOPLE.. that don't annoy us and leave us alone. Typically most people do a fairly good job at the patron loving game and aren't usually a hassle, but today, oh today... Candy man is sitting reading his paper. This poor old man is hard to understand and he likes to get into deep conversations when you are: A. Trying to eat. B. Trying to help someone. and C. Doing your job. This man is lonely and just wants someone to talk to but his timing is less than great.

Then to add to the pot of cold stew here in libraryland our most commonly talk about least favorite student and wife in classes shows up. Becoming least favorite student. And wife. Go fourth and create young spawns that will... well... annoy the socks off a panther I don't know. This guy is hard to understand because he is from South America, Cape something or other, I am surprised I don't know everything about this man. And wife. His wife is overly cheery and happy with this man who I want to stick a steak kni.... I mean give hugs and rainbows to. They are LDS and words like "potty mouth" and "he said GOSH but the OTHER word" generally make me giggle because we are not in kindergarten anymore this is college. The prof is going to say things like going to hell in a hand basket during a lecture. (taken from SOC 101 lecture) And you signed up for it... want to drop it? You should. And wife.

Now I have only been on the clock for a hour and a half and I have managed to deal with more patrons that I can't stand than I have had to all week. Which brings me to my conclusion thank god tomorrow is Friday and I only have to deal with the people for one more day. Can we hope they are semi-normal? And wife. Can I watch the "Muppet's Christmas Carol" in the backroom and not see any appointments? Oh I fear I cannot because I know I have advising appointments tomorrow.

At least I won't have to dust my office again, that was hard work cleaning an office I share with 3 other people. And dozens of peers before me, who left their junk in the office because they don't think it's important. And wife. Yeesh. Peer advising is LIFE people get with the program! Okay maybe not so much for you or the person after you but it's good to know what you want to do with your life. And wife. Be it grocery bagging, paint chip eating, or counseling.

Speaking of which tomorrow we need the Student Services office to do the "shopping cart" and the "sprinkler".

Windex and shine and whatnot! And wife.

Is that a mouse or a chicken caught in your copy machine?

Our copier has started to make a high pitched squealing when people make copies, annoying for those of us who are here for 12 hours, luckily only 4 of those hours are stuck chained to the chair.. oh I mean working. So I am thinking there could be either a dead wet fish in our copier, a mouse stuck on a roller-do-boble, or a chicken passing gas. Does gass have 2 s's or just one? Or a half, someone figure it out fast.

Oh oh oh Today my ad over in the corner says I can join a Fight Club Workout! How does this know I am a little pudgy? Can they see me? *waves to facebook spy people* No thanks tho I am fine the way that I am, I don't mind. Plus fighting not really my thing, in fact I don't like fighting haha.

This is me NOT doing my History of Dance homework, not like she can see me, the class is online. All my classes are online cept one... ssssoooo in all essence this is me not doing ANY of my homework from ANY of my online courses! Woo! Not like it's a fair ride, or a cake walk.

Why do people call it a cake walk? What a waste of a good cake eh? Although I wonder which cake is better for walking? Sponge? Lemon? Devils food? Hmmmmmm..... Now I want cake...

Off to go find something more... well... more... procrastiation-y or something along those lines... maybe get something done... NAH

Lions and Tigers and Bears oh my.... and a giraffe

I haven't slept in a week, I was very proud last night.. well... Thursday night I got maybe 4-5 hours? Other than that it's been pretty rough... tonight.. no exception. NyQuil please? I feel like a bus plane train and zoo ran me over, im beginning to think that traveling zoos are a bad idea, because walrus's's's don't like to travel much. Don't blame them, it's like moving to a new home every week! (yes I know walrusi is plural but walrus's's's sounds cooler)

Now I am wondering what a bus-plane-train-zoo hybrid would look like. Kinda scary, not something I would visit, I don't like heights, or much else for that matter so lets just think about forgetting that shall we? Not to mention I am now multitasking, like a wheat thin, its a healthy cracker, but when eaten in large doses could cause one to have to "run down the hall" a lot. I would imagine it would look and feel like a 10 car pile up with a bus-plane-train-zoo hybrid at the end.

Somehow I got lost and wandered down a deep dark alley in which my mind should NEVER go. Because some of my readers are sensitive. eHow articles and Yahoo Answers are amazing resources you can find any answer to almost any question.

I have too many songs running through my head I feel like a radio station gone haywire and all the music plays at once. It isn't fun believe me. Maybe in all this spare time that has somehow popped into my life I could design my hybrid zoo-boat-train-plane- bus. If only I could quit the waterworks coming from my eyes I might be able to do it.
What would it run on? Ramen! Lord knows it's what I function on that and sugar doughnuts
What would it travel on? CONVERTIBLE. We could have the top down, oh back on task.. umm.. Mostly fly I would guess but some train... erm... train-y traveling would be nice too, we could FLY down the tracks... there we go

I think I can smell my bodily smells, time for.. well bed.. but that doesn't solve my problem now does it.

Life is a two way road, you can't be the only one to travel down it, things have to have reciprocity. I just came up with that so there, eat my stinky socks.. speaking of which... I need to do a load of whites so i don't have to reuse socks again... Maybe Sunday