The copy machine ate my arm!

Well not really but it is making a noise like my tummy makes when it is hungry. For the past 2 weeks and since my boss left we have had the most trouble with this stupid machine. My coworker and I have come up with many ideas on how it could "accidently" disappear.

• Push it off the landing into the snake river
• "Cash for clunkers"
• Offer it to patrons for free
• Take it for a walk with a leash and tie to a tree and forget about it
• Take it for a ride in a truck...... to the dump.....
• "spill" coffee in it

Just to name a few, we will keep working on this list. So far the first one up there is the best choice as it has wheels and can easily be... pushed.. off the ledge hahaha but we do have camera that would see us doing it and I am sure that our jobs would not be safe from that... But the copier would be gone wouldn't it?

I can just see it now. Corpse of copier found in the snake river. CSI Idaho Falls claims it to have been there for a few weeks as it had some rust on it and they cut it open and found out the age by how many rings it had... No finger prints found and no murder weapon.... That would make a great TV show..

I couldn't think of a name so here you go!

Wow, I am a year older, hard to believe you could be older than dirt and here I am! At least that is how I feel. Not always just most days. Have to say this 21st birthday of mine has been quite bittersweet if I dare to say it. It wasn't like a toilet running away with my pants or anything but maybe the sink.

Thursday- I get off WoW and see that a friend of mine is moving and that a comment said he was moving here. I flew into full on mother hen mode, made lists and all that fun stuff, NO SLEEP, but what else is new right?

Friday- After FINALLY falling asleep at 2am then getting up at 6am I begin to have possibly one of the best days ever. I sang in my car extra loud and even did extra super dancing. I am sure it was a sight, or a blindness depending on how "white" my dance skills are. Got to have cake with my friends at school and got a very lovely scarf and cane (inside joke) from my co-worker Nelle. Then it just kinda went downhill haha. Found out my friend wasn't going to come here after all. Keep in mind NO SLEEP. So I am like a taco without a shell, kinda meaty and ground up in a blender. Taco smoothie just without the tortilla.

Saturday- Drive to work, change my Voice mail thing to say something about my birthday and how I had to work but would return a phone call later. Sat at work. Did work stuff. Then went out to eat with my other family at Red Robin, night was going great but then kinda slid downhill when a friend I decided to txt got mad... See he is a close friend and I hadn't talked to him in a long time and so I wanted to make sure he knew I wasn't mad and that I hoped he hadn't forgotten my bday well... he got mad... so that kinda put a downer on my night too.

However after all this I still had a kickin' birthday and I wouldn't change it really. I was so happy Friday that I was glowing and I was just yeah. Can't say so glow-worm like Saturday and today but I guess I just need more double A's. Anybody got any I can borrow? Well I don't plan to give them back so how about just take off your hands permanently. I should be doing something other writing this rather humor-less blog, but I can't bring myself to think of anything fun of wit. Couldn't be that I was up till 2am playing WoW... oh yeah that would be it, I am tired! Pooped! And whatever else it that I am supposed to use for tired!

In this one I make an astronomy reference

So I was in the kitchen making me some tomato soup. Which is my comfort food, although full of sodium and making me all thirsty and stuff, it is still very good. So my step father whatever he is, phone rings, and it scares the living crapola out of me. To start with thats a hard task, but alas it is bound to happen, now there is a living piece of crap on the floor. Again not my idea of fun, ever been chased by one of those? ANYWAYS his phone starts to ring and it is playing "Another one bites the dust", it is his daughter.......

Does anybody besides me read into that? Just a little? Like a smidgen? And so I go ahead and say, I will blog about that, because she isn't the most... erm... well... hmm... anyways it is fitting. So I start to watch my Law and Order SVU and I hear Stabler say:

"Another one bites the dust"

Ummmmm... Coincidence? Not in a million parsecs.

Just thought that would come in handy as a character reference or something. Also it bothers me when those who are on work release from prison don't tell me till they need their paper signed. Shouldn't I have been watching you closer? GAH!

If you thought that last one was funny...

So far this week I have posted one blog this is beginning to look like my second blog of the week, or third, I don't actaully remember if I blogged more than just once or what. So anyways...

If you drive around and look for stuff, you are bound to find something. I know an overly broad statement but it still covers the general area, like a hospital gown, covers general areas, while sometimes leaving other areas.... flapping in the wind?

I found this sign while out and about doing stuff:



I like the funny, I am in love with the funny, I would marry the funny if funny weren't a glowing gas station sign. I am not entirely sure why I would want to stop the "RoadRunner Pit Stop" because isn't there a coyote stalking that roadrunner? Or something? And I have to give kudos to the poor lacky who put the sign up, that is like giving your boss the middle finger! Or something similar meaning vulgar stuff. Not only that but look at that humor in DIESEL 2.89 that my friends is a knee slapper. Oh wait... that's not a joke that is the price of diesel gas.. Well damn there goes my funny repitore of jokes about 2.89 out the window.



So within the past week or so, I dumped the GF, I took the chickens way out and did it through txt but I couldn't be happier! Other than that, thats all that has really happened, other than me still thinking about going to Arizona to visit my friend:



James. I am in dire need of a holiday and winter time in Arizona is like spring time anywhere else in the world. I think... And James is by far one of the most fun people to be with ;). But yes, time for a trip I would suspect.

Oh and I think I want to get something pierced, ears? Lip? Eye brow? Any above the waist ideas? haha. Just lookin' for some input here people, nothing out of the ordinary. I doubt I will do it but I am looking to see what you my readers think! haha

Eh, nothin' new

Today's blog is all about the smell n' speak. No not the speak and spell but the smell n' speak.

This product has the ability to smell anything and then tell you about it. Here is an example:

Scenario 1:

*Young teenage boy comes walking past the smell n' speak*

smell n' speak: "That young person has Body Odor, please inform them that deodorant has been invented"

Scenario 2:

*Sitting around chilling with friends*

smell n' speak: "I smell a traitor, the person to your left is a backstabber! QUICK pour coffee on them"

REVOLUTIONARY! I mean honestly who wouldn't want one of these things. For the fridge, car, bathroom, husband, work, graveyard, meat packing plant. Honestly this product will be the best known to man kind since sliced bread.

Well okay now that I have that out of my system, today I got to school and pulling into the parking lot and said "oh an apache helicopter, eh nothin' out of the ordinary" Why is it that I have become immune to the not so mundane? I mean I would prolly say "oh thats a man eating giant zombie brain, eh nothin' new" I think it is time for another sabbatical to Arizona to see my lover. Am I right? Who wants to give me money to go? Or at least to fly my love up here? Takers? Can anybody who reads these even fly? Just thought I would make a quick blog to advertise my stuff haha. Now off to go find something... well... okay... can't really think of it but I think it will be fun. Like reading or taking over the world.

So you think I forgot you...

Hello blog follower! I mean followers! I haven't forgot my dear readers in fact I haven't forgot anything, okay well that's a lie.. where am I? Anyways. Nothing really exciting or fun has been going on lately and I haven't had the spirit of humor with me. But I feel it coming back to me now. Like a bad 80's song, or like heartburn from cheese its. Or bell bottom pants. Anyways

So as I was... well going to the bathroom the other I was looking around because I was bored, and happened to notice something a little bit out of the ordinary.

This is a stall, in the men's room. And it has TWO count em TWO hold-y bar things. All the bathrooms in the building only have one of these transfer hold-y bars. I have to say this would make it more convenient to maneuver yourself from wheel chair to toilet or walker to toilet or whatever, but they also make for great leverage devices! You can hold on and go and it makes life so much easier! Not to say this blog is going down the shitter but come on people I have to find funny stuff to share!

Also these new toilets in just ONE bathroom are the special self flushing kind. Now keep in mind, that means they flush when you stand up scaring the shit of you, therefore making the bathroom a scary place to be.. I always jump when I stand up and begin to refasten my belt because I am used to flushing myself, well.. not me myself but me pushing the handle down. Also another note to keep in mind, men are gross. I would know, I am one. Flushing is not the repertoire of things men do. (Most men..) And when using the toilet as a urinal it doesn't sense you standing there... so... it doesn't flush... so 8 guys later the bathroom looks disgusting. Same goes for the not self flushing bathrooms but that is another blog.

Okay. So once a week I go get me a $5 pizza and eat it. While out going to get said pizza I ran across the following sign.

The sign reads "Fokus = wanna be kul?"

I myself have always want to be kul. Like it is the top goal I have and want to complete ASAP. I am not sure what the sign belongs to. The store underneath the sign is vacant, next door is a dollar store and on the other side is Tuesday Morning... Not entirely sure what a Fokus is. I would guess some kind of clothing company. Or maybe this is where they sell lives! I have always wanted one of those! Too bad they are so hard to find and are expensive! I know right? But alas I may never know what a Fokus is and therefore I will never be kul. That is kind of a depressing thought.

Rather pick flowers instead of fights... or noses.

• So the past couple of weeks have been interesting.... to say the least. I have done the following:
• Diagnosed with a double ear infection
• Passed my Abnormal Psychology class
• Got a stalker
• Eaten at 5 Guys Burgers and Fries
• Began to meditate
• Thought about the meaning of life

That last one there is just kind of a constant thing. So I pretty much got myself a stalker. HONESTLY a library student worker gets a stalker. I always wanted one... however the grass isn't so much green on the other side. So I took this chicka out to eat because me being me was like "Oh lets make sure I am gay" that was totally stupid of me. Now I have basically in essence a girlfriend that... well... words cannot describe. I don't want to break her heart but I have got to. Lets think of ways to get rid of a stalker!

• Fart like a cow in front of her while she is holding your hand
• Do the "pull my finger" joke
• Think of ways to include Paint Chips into Fish and Chips
• Re-think paint chip idea because nobody likes fish
• Consider becoming a cannibal for day. Like for Halloween or Christmas!
• Angry cow disease. A lot like mad cow only more angry
• Make a blog posting about dogs anus's
• Think blowtorch and fireworks

Okay I think I got just a little carried away. Honestly I don't know what I am supposed to do, she borrowed some books and she is a little attached. I am usually the one attached to people. Honestly it's like the table has been turned! Just a little quick update now I am going to go look into a nap and think haha.

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