Today I am going to write a blog about people and things you don't want showing up on your door step.
- Lumpy Gravy- honestly who hasn't tried to make gravy and it kind of turns in something resembling oatmeal or cement? Sometimes it's just the best you can do
- If it's dieting season you don't want Ben and Jerry to come-a-knocking. They have a habit of "sticking" around for far too long, although not as chatty as Aunt Jamima.
- A ragtag gang of teenagers hungry for leftovers and whatever else in the pantry. "Can I have one of those ancient cookies that you found in the pryamids with that mummy of King Tut Tut?"
- Dead gazelles, as they are pretty useless.
- Aliens from Pluto, they may run up your A/C bill, and by run up I mean you would have to foreclose on your home and owe the government lots of money, and by lots of money, means you would get another visitor:
- Debt collectors, 'nouff said
- Life size Dora The Explorer, I am pretty sure even the cartoon versions is all scary and the backpack she wears eats stuff..... And by stuff I am pretty sure this going down a route my blog isn't ready for yet.
- Assassins- Pretty damn sure this one speaks for itself, honestly. I have threatened to send my library assassins after people who don't turn in books on time. I don't think we have had a successful hit yet.
- Your friendly neighborhood dentist who is a few picnics short of a sandwich. Unless he brings the happy gas again, then the party is on.
- Someone who wants to use your bathroom- these people prey on the nice people and steal toilet paper, and that is valuable, like wiping your ass with a gold bar... Not suggesting anybody out there try it, but if you do... I don't want to know about it.. or see any pictures...
Okay so I guess that is an epic fail because it looks like someone is grabbing this silhouette of someone from behind... Safe places are not safe anymore! Not to mention what is that SM in the corner.... Not sure I care to know....
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