If you ate a lion that would be a lot to chew

I should start referring to myself as, "he". Doesn't that sounds fun? And give the illusion that I have a psychological disorder! How exciting he said in a tone that sounded more sarcastic than not. See how it changes his writing style? Makes things seem more... well... h-y.

To say the least things have been pretty steady, given one little road bump. My step father whom we (my friends and I) have dubbed "it" over the years. He and my mother are getting a divorce, so you would think that it's all fun and games till someone steps over the tape line. Someone did. Neither me or my mother but "It". He has decided that because it was I who found him in bed with another woman (who is equally as mentally disable as he is, when we use this term it gives only one mental picture... Jack Nicholson) he thinks that I have some part to play in the divorce. Tis not I who am married to the walking hobo tis my mother.

So in this story he is trying really hard to pin me with poisoning his food with.. you guessed it flour... He has gluten intolerance and it will make him terribly ill... But do any of you see me as this malicious? I would hope not because poison him flour was not even a thought on my mind. I would gladly submit myself to lie detector test to prove this. Slander is what this is. From a sick man of course. I have hardly any time in which to concoct such schemes, I mean I have school, work, and a life to lead! I hardly have time to see myself in the mirror! haha.

So all in all, it hasn't been the most pleasant ride. But it is better than the life I lived with him!

It just goes to show that life is not always fun in blogger land. As you can see he didn't write using he to describe himself as aforementioned, oops. A little too much effort for the land blog.

So lets see how about this one! "Things you prolly shouldn't say to yourself"

1. "Is that mole new or did that one multiply?"

2. "I think I need to shave my nose hair"

3. "Did I eat (Insert meal) today?"

4. "Did that lump move?"

5. "I wonder if that person has to comb his.... hair... piece..."

6. "You make fun of the hair piece now, what happens when you have to have one"

7. "In all honesty does that even work?"

8. "Too blunt? Too blunt..."

So give this blog a better under-tone than it started with I am going to end it with

"head on apply directly to your forehead"

You are welcome Liz :P You will get me for this I know you will.