Why I do not play the cello in an orchestra

1. I don't play the cello, I have only taken flute lessons and that was a very long time ago.

2. I am a big believer on Murphy's law, if something bad can happen, it will. I can imagine it now, my strings becoming entangled in my bow and then my bow becoming like an arrow and taking out the people sitting next to me. Can you say ouch much?

3. An instrument that big is bound to be blunt too, a blunt instrument (punny!). I can just imagine me losing control of it and it sliding off the stage and knocking out the people sitting in the front row. In this case you shouldn't have bought those great expensive tickets eh?

4. Think screamo, cello style. I dont even like screamo or anything rough on the ears for that matter but somehow I would stuck in the scremo orchestra and well I am sure I can make any instrument scream... wow that sounds bad, no way to rephrase that one so it sounds better.

5. I would try to ride my cello, that would be fun but I hear they buck like one of those bulls at the fair so I would end up on the floor with a big cello horn stuck in my side and the clowns would have to come out to distract my enraged instrument, I would name her, Olga the Cello, creative huh?

I don't know what exactly inspired a blog on me not playing the cello in an orchestra but I figued it would bring a smile to my readers.